everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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