Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
