"it" just moved
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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