would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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