$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
