i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
