What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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