Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
