I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
