Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Small penises have feelings too.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize