Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
