Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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