her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I stole a fireplace last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
