I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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