Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
