go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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