so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
