Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want nice things and good sex
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
