Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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