i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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