One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
