i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
