piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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