So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
