This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
