I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
