i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
