I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
