dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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