Me. At least after what I've been through.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
