I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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