Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
