the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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