this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
