come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
