he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
