i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
