You're my little dorito
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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