I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
