pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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