there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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