how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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