What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
being pregnant is like rehab
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
