I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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