It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
