your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
