kristin has been a bad kristin
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
