he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
