i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
