dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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